Friday, October 12, 2012

Contrast Intros # 1 and # 2 REVISED

Intro # 1 :

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which is better? I guess it all depends on who is being asked. There are pro's and con's to each, and different kinds of people have different tastes as to where to live. I've been lucky enough to experience both within recent years, I moved to Harmony, Maine population 954 from Phoenix, AZ about 3 years ago. Even though I don't think I'm ready to make a decision on which I prefer, I can say that it sure is a culture shock. Moves are notoriously hard on anyone but when a huge uprising gets added to the mix, you just don't know what the emotional response will be. I pretty much freaked out immediately after arriving in Harmony, I actually went to see a therapist to "talk" about how crazy I felt people lived here, needless to say she thought I was the crazy one.

Intro # 2:

Culture shock. That's what you get when you take someone from a big city and place them in a small rural town. There are so many differences between living in a big city and living in a small rural area, even though there might only be a couple hundred of miles between you and what you used to know, you might as well be in a whole new country. I had a huge move about three years ago, I moved to Harmony, Maine with a population of 954 from Phoenix, AZ. I still haven't decided If I prefer it here, and If you're trying to find out what's the better choice for you, it might be helpful to weight the pro's and con's of each.There are advantages to both and you'll get different answers if you ask around for preferences, it all depends on who you ask.


  1. Stick with 'I' in this. Avoid the mixing of 'you' and 'I'--it makes for seasick writing: your reader is tossed around!

    Give us a hook--a city, a hick town. A bit of your own experience, a visual, a little story that points out a major difference, something along those lines.

  2. I made some revisions- Let me know if it doesn't work.