Its been said that patience is a virtue. I totally lack patience. I know I do and I am perfectly fine admitting it. Considering I have three kids, one would assume I have an abundance of patience, however it seems to be quite the opposite. I don't take it well when my kids have "childish" accidents, or make "silly" mistakes. I would say that with each child I had, I lost a bit of patience in the making. I also have a lack of patience with the day itself. That's right, I actually find myself looking at the clock quite often wondering why the day is ticking away so slowly. My lack of patience is also a annoyance to myself, I am a big believer in the fact that our time on earth is short so make the best of each day. If that is my philosophy then how can I possibly have a problem with patience?
I have three kids, ages 8,6 and 4. I love them dearly and with all my heart, but boy do they drive me crazy! I know that kids act there age and mine are all still young, so part of me wants to accept there wild and crazy behavior and take it with a smile. The other, more impatient part of me wants to have a remote control for them and be able to utilize all the buttons. I would use the mute and volume button for sure daily. I find that the thing that i love the most about my childrens play habits is also often the most hated. All three have a great sense of imagination and can play for hours on end with out much more than a cardboard box and a roll of tape. This can be a blessing on rainy days spent inside but its also inevitable that whenever we are on a time crunch and need to get out of the house, my kids will not budge from there fort of blankets or game of supermarket, i just don't have the patience for that! I was told as a child that kids are supposed to be seen and not heard, and as I mentioned before I am a only child, so I'm sure that most of my lack of patience with my kids stems back to that and the fact that I never had to deal with extra noise in my house. My lack of patience with my children is the one thing that I find myself consistently working on in my life on a daily basis. I wish more than anything that I would be able to interact with them on a better level and show more compassion and patience.
I also have a lack of patience with the hours in the day. You know that feeling you have when you are waiting for a special day to come and you jsut want those days previous to it to go as fast as they possibly can ? Welcome to my world because that's pretty much how i feel all the time. Those 24 hours go as slow as a snail and I am desperate for them to go faster than they do. I know this is not the norm, actually it may be the exact opposite of most people ; who feel there isn't enough hours in the day. I however, pack my day full of all the things I consider "on track" with my goals like taking classes at school, volunteering within the community, and my oh so never ending church related commitments. When I am finished I just want the day to be done, I don't have any patience for those extra hours of relaxation.
My life hasn't turned out exactly how I had imagined it would, but lets face it, thats the way life is, right? When I was younger I had great, dramatic plans for my life after high school, I never imagined I would have gotten pregnant as a senior in high school. I put my plans on hold and have waited 8 years since my first child was born to pick up where I left off. When I was nothing more than a stay at home mom, I had lost that intenseness for life, I could see this happening and was disturbed by it but too far gone into domestic bliss to do much of anything about it. Now that I am in college and all my kids are in school all day I have found that drive again. Along with this drive comes my impatience. I want my life in order now!
I've always known that I want things when I want them and that life doesn't exactly work that way. I guess I would say its a good thing that I am overly optisimistic because if I wasn't then my life would be a constant disappointment. It's an understatement when I say that I lack patience, not only do I lack patience dealing with my family and in tsmy personal life, but I am so bad that I actually have no patience for life in general. I don't know what has made me this way and I don't know how exactly I should go about changing this but I do know that there has been and always will be 24 hours in a day and noisy children so I better just get used to it.