Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Example essay rewrite

               Its been said that patience is a virtue. I totally lack patience. I know I do and I am perfectly fine admitting it. Considering I have three kids, one would assume I have an abundance of patience, however it seems to be quite the opposite. I don't take it well when my kids have "childish" accidents, or make "silly" mistakes. I would say that with each child I had, I lost a bit of patience in the making. I also have a lack of patience with the day itself. That's right, I actually find myself looking at the clock quite often wondering why the day is ticking away so slowly. My lack of patience is also a annoyance to myself, I am a big believer in the fact that our time on earth is short so make the best of each day. If that is my philosophy then how can I possibly have a problem with patience?
                 I have three kids, ages 8,6 and 4. I love them dearly and with all my heart, but boy do they drive me crazy! I know that kids act there age and mine are all still young, so part of me wants to accept there wild and crazy behavior and take it with a smile. The other, more impatient part of me wants to have a remote control for them and be able to utilize all the buttons. I would use the mute and volume button for sure daily. I find that the thing that i love the most about my childrens play habits is also often the most hated. All three have a great sense of imagination and can play for hours on end with out much more than a cardboard box and a roll of tape. This can be a blessing on rainy days spent inside but its also inevitable that whenever we are on a time crunch and need to get out of the house, my kids will not budge from there fort of blankets or game of supermarket, i just don't have the patience for that! I was told as a child that kids are supposed to be seen and not heard, and as I mentioned before I am a only child, so I'm sure that most of my lack of patience with my kids stems back to that and the fact that I never had to deal with extra noise in my house. My lack of patience with my children is the one thing that I find myself consistently working on in my life on a daily basis. I wish more than anything that I would be able to interact with them on a better level and show more compassion and patience. 
                   I also have a lack of patience with the hours in the day.  You know that feeling you have when you are waiting for a special day to come and you jsut want those days previous to it to go as fast as they possibly can ? Welcome to my world because that's  pretty much how i feel all the time. Those 24 hours go as slow as a snail and I am desperate for them to go faster than they do. I know this is not the norm, actually it may be the exact opposite of most people ; who feel there isn't enough hours in the day.  I however, pack my day full of all the things I consider "on track" with my goals like taking classes at school, volunteering within the community, and my oh so never ending church related commitments. When  I am finished  I just want the day to be done, I don't have any patience for those extra hours of relaxation.
                My life hasn't turned out exactly how I had imagined it would, but lets face it, thats the way life is, right? When I was younger I had great, dramatic plans for my life after high school, I never imagined I would have gotten pregnant as a senior in high school. I put my plans on hold and have waited 8 years since my first child was born to pick up where I left off. When I was nothing more than a stay at home mom, I had  lost that intenseness for life, I could see this happening and was disturbed by it but too far gone into domestic bliss to do much of anything about it. Now that I am in college and all my kids are in school all day I have found that drive again. Along with this drive comes my impatience. I want my life in order now!  
                 I've always known that I want things when I want them and that life doesn't exactly work that way. I guess I would say its a good thing that I am overly optisimistic because if I wasn't then my life would be a constant disappointment. It's an understatement when I say that I lack patience, not only do I lack patience dealing with my family and in tsmy personal life, but I am so bad that I actually have no patience for life in general. I don't know what has made me this way and I don't know how exactly I should go about changing this but I do know that there has been and always will be 24 hours in a day and noisy children so I better just get used to it. 


  1. "That's right, I actually find myself looking at the clock quite often wondering why the day is ticking away so slowly."

    That's harsh--getting impatient with the sun!


    Actually, that line in graf 1 is your best. In the rest, you tell us what you get impatient with, without really giving us specific examples of your kids annoying habits or your day getting away from you or your new-found intensity.

    Try a rewrite where you offer more examples in those middle grafs. Just a few sentences ought to do the trick.

  2. I have read through all my writing and I have to say that is the one thing I am not happy with, I have a really hard time giving specific examples. I guess I have a problem making things "personal". I also use quotations a little too much!!

    I'll revise it. ..

  3. Repost as 'example rewrite' when you are ready, ok?